Communication Keys for Co-Parenting

1) Be polite & civil

It's important to remove the emotion when communicating with your co-parent, especially in the beginning when your raw emotions are so new. Set new boundaries and communicate in the same way you want to be communicated with.

2) Keep Communication short & sweet

This relationship between you is in the past. Communication should always be about your children and their needs.  Simple responses are the best especially in the beginning.

3) No fighting with the kids present

Focus on making your kids happy.  Ongoing conflict between co-parents is very stressful to the children. 

4) Don't put your children in the middle

Don't use your child as a messenger. Always communicate directly with your co-parent, even when.... 

5) Communicate regularly

During this difficult time, kids really need to know that you are both actively involved in their lives. Setup weekly or bi-weekly meetings (dinner, or meet at the park etc)

6) Stay on topic

Clear communication between you and your co-parent partner means it's that it is much less likely that information gets lost in translation. It helps to stay on topic and keep the communication brief and to-the-point. Commit to communicating a few times a week.

7) Concentrate on now and the future

All the problems that led to your separation are not relevant to your co-parenting relationship. You need to leave them in the past where they belong. Your only concern from now on should be in relation to your children. And how you are going to raise them and support them together as they grow up.

8) Listen to hear, not to respond

Often we hear what we want to hear or what we expect to hear.  Take the time to try and understand their point of view. Listening is key to successful communication.

9) Look for compromise and always be flexible

There will be undoubtly situations when you will disagree with your co-parent, find a way to communicate that allows you both to work together to find a resolution. Try to be as flexible as possible without comprising your boudaries. If your co-parent's birthday is during your parenting time and they want to celebrate with the children, be kind and say yes. Don't make your kids miss out on a special occasion or having fun with the other parent out of spite. Children end up being the biggest losers in this scenario. Also, when you make a request next time, your co-parent is much more likely to say yes.

There will be many challenges with co-parenting partner throughout the years.  Work to put your children first and always act in their best interests. If you use these communication tools you can build a strong co-parenting relationship and your children will be much happier without having to choose sides.